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How to tell if Dukascopy sucks, page 2 of 7

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What do they do?

Dukascopy is a small operation by a couple of jokers. They specialize in forex trading. Why forex trading? Probably because they can't attract any money from anyone else. And why can't they? Because Dukascopy sucks.

Caution

If you're a U.S. citizen or resident, I suggest you especially avoid Dukascopy. Your money is not safe in Swiss banks. The IRS buys lists from time to time, and if they discover you have a "bank account in Switzerland", then, without any regard for the due process, they will divvy up your money. One third of it will go to the IRS, one third of it will go to the Swiss Government, and one third of it will go to Dukascopy, as a reward for their cooperation. How about Dukascopy? Why do they cooperate in the first place? Because Dukascopy sucks.

The sales help

Dukascopy employs sales help. To protect the guilty, let's call them Herr Schicklgruber and Herr Muckenfoss. Their job is to carefully reel you in — if you take the bait, if you show any interest in Dukascopy. Salespeople are okay; there is nothing wrong with being in sales. However, why are they employed by a bank? Banks don't need any sales help. Why do Dukascopy need any sales help? Because Dukascopy sucks.

The tech support

How about Dukascopy's tech support? To protect the guilty, let's call their tech service guys Herr Dreyer and Herr Ball. It's either that they were guilty of some crime, or they had something to hide from me, but when I got them on the phone, they kept refusing to tell me their real names.

Example: Herr Dreyer sounded like a fraud when he said his name was "John". Why? Probably because he was the guy operating the highly sophisticated computer software that Dukascopy was using at the time of my phone call. Based on the bad impression over the telephone, the tech service of Herr Dreyer is one additional reason why Dukascopy sucks.

The bad vibes

From the get go it became increasingly more obvious to me that neither Herr Dreyer nor Herr Ball had any people skills. They kept interrupting me. They were disagreeable, argumentative, curt, brusque and discourteous. I was shaking and shivering after each telephone conversation I had with them. Therefore, based on my bad vibes, Dukascopy sucks. ...More >>

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